Plagg's Mansion
by Aishoka-J
Summary: When Ladybug tells Chat Noir about the kwami home she made for Tikki, Plagg simply has to have one of his own of course! If only house hunting with the god of destruction was as easy as Adrien thought it would be... Sequel to Tikki's Home. Number 2 in Kwami Houses series.


Chat Noir bounded up onto the rooftops of Paris, laughing in delight at the sheer freedom he was enjoying as a superhero and the fact that he had _finally_ beaten Ladybug to the finishing point of their patrol. He was just about to do a victory dance when a throat cleared behind him.

"Pretty nice moves on that mugger back there, Chaton."

Sure enough, there was Ladybug. She was leaning against one of the many chimneys on the roof, arms crossed and a smug grin on her face, the absolute picture of nonchalance. She had beaten him in their race _again_!

He fought the urge to throw his hands up and moan about life being so unfair and instead fell back on his flirty behaviour.

"Why, my Lady, were you checking _meowt_?"

She groaned and rolled her eyes. "Again?"

"I always have a _paw_-some pun at the ready," Chat grinned, waggling his eyebrows at her.

She scoffed and walked past him to the edge of the roof, looking out over their city. She murmured her next words so quietly that he almost, _almost_, missed her answer to his pun. Thank God for super hearing and forgetful partners. "_Claw_-ful is more like it."

"Bugaboo! You punned!"

Her eyes went wide. "No I didn't!"

"Yes you did. It was amazing!" Chat gloated and launched into a small victory dance. He might not have won the race but his Lady punned with him. It was a small win but a win nonetheless.

"No, I didn't, I said awful. Your puns are awful."

"Shush!"

He smirked. Her voice had been higher-pitched than normal, a sure indication that she was fibbing, and he was delighted! She had punned, she had actually punned with him! He knew she didn't really hate them as much as she claimed and this was his proof. It was the perfect ammo to tease her with later.

"I'm trying to imprint this into my memories. My Lady punned with me. A special day like this needs to be remembered."

Ladybug almost growled. "If I could pull your attention away from your mind for just a minute?"

"My attention is all yours, my Lady," he winked.

"Thank you" she drawled, rolling her eyes. "I have to head back home now but I just wanted to give you this first."

She flipped open her yoyo and pulled out a small unsealed envelope. It was filled almost to bursting with what looked like polaroid photos. He was about to open it a flick through it, cats are curious creatures after all, until the message on the front caught his attention. _To Cheesy, from Sweets_. It was followed by a string of numbers.

That was odd. Though he and Ladybug had many, many nicknames for each other, Cheesy and Sweets were not on that list. He was about to ask what she meant by that when his brain finally processed just what the string of numbers actually was and he promptly short-circuited.

"This is... LB, is this your phone number?!"

She shook her head but smiled and tapped at the photos in the envelope. "Do you remember that big project I've been working on?"

"You've been at that for months. Have you finally finished it?"

He was happy for her that she had finished it, and happy that their partnership was going to get back to normal. She had been on edge and snappy for several akumas before he had confronted her for an explanation. All she would tell him was that there was a really important project in her civilian life that she was dying to finish up but barely had the time.

"Yes. It was a kwami house. Look!"

Photo after photo showed a dolls house being put together, painted, decorated, and finished off. Some of them had Ladybug's civilian hands in them (and he just knew he would be studying them in detail later to try and find her) but it was the other photos that held his attention, those showing an adorable pink and black kwami, beaming and waving at the camera.

"Is that… that's a dolls house! And that… wow, is that Tikki? She's cute."

"Isn't she just?" Ladybug beamed.

He wanted to squee with how adorable it all was. Tikki was just cute, there was no argument there, but the house was amazing! Tiny curtains! Little beanbags! The kwami outfits, oh my god, the kwami outfits! A mini sofa, and… wait...

He jabbed at the living room photo. "It's a TV. Bug, you turned a phone into a TV. That's amazing!"

She beamed and nodded. "I bought that phone for Tikki to use as a TV, but _also_ so she can talk to Plagg. The phone number is hers. She wants Plagg to use it and talk to her. She misses him."

"She does?"

Someone actually missed Plagg's annoying presence? Unthinkable!

"Yeah," her happy smile dimmed a little. "I got the impression that she hates these separations. The time before their Miraculous Holders meet face to face and she can be with Plagg again. She isn't always away from Plagg for long... but they're partners, just like we are. I can tell that being away from him bothers her. A lot. Hence the phone."

Chat took back every nasty thing he had ever thought about Plagg. If the situation were reversed, if he and his Lady could only be together briefly in every lifetime, well, he would go crazy. He would miss her more than words could possibly express… and Plagg had been doing this for millennia. He really underestimated his kwami.

Chat sighed. "If that were us I know I'd miss you like crazy."

"I'd miss you too, Chaton," she smiled. "Now, I took these photos so you can see how easy it is to modify a dolls house for a kwami. You and Plagg can make a kwami house for him at home and get him a phone and he can talk to Tikki."

"I… can't."

"What?"

"I can't do that."

"Why?"

Chat sighed again and wandered over to the edge of the roof. He sat on the edge, legs swinging over the side, and stared out over the city. It should have been pretty obvious where Ladybug was going with this. He should have realised when she was showing off Tikki's home. He had been so caught up in it that he had actually started thinking how he and Plagg could get a dolls house to renovate themselves. For all of three seconds he had been swept up in the fantasy… until he remembered what his home life was like.

There was zero chance of him being able to hide a kwami house.

"Believe me, LB, if I could I would. Plagg deserves that much from me at least. But…"

He heard her soft footsteps coming closer. "Chaton, you can tell me."

"I can't. It would break our secrecy rule."

"Would- could you try and work around it?" she sat next to him on the ledge, a comforting hand on his shoulder. She gave it a gentle squeeze. "They're our kwami. They deserve this, if we can give this to them."

He was so tempted to just blurt his identity out there and then. He had wanted to for so long and she had pretty much given him the green light to do so. But she was right. This wasn't about them and their identities, this was about their kwami. He owed Plagg so much for giving him this chance at freedom. He owed it to him to give him a way to be with Tikki. If anyone could help him it was his partner.

With her support he began to muddle through the tale of his home life.

"My dad is really strict. He runs the family business and wants me to follow in his footsteps. But he's always busy running it and so things like taking care of the house or me get left to one of his employees and nothing gets past her. She'd notice if I suddenly got a second phone or bought a doll's house and immediately start asking questions."

"And that would compromise your secret."

"Definitely." Chat sighed. Nathalie Sancoeur was like a bloodhound. If he gave her the slightest reason to be suspicious she wouldn't stop until he didn't have a secret left in him. He might as well kiss his ring goodbye now. "When I couldn't answer her questions I'd be grounded for life. It wouldn't take long for them to discover who I am."

"What if you said you got it to keep your business dealings separate from your social life? We do something like that in my family business."

"No, that wouldn't… wait, you have a family business too?"

She smiled and nodded. "It's only a small shop, a little local business. Nothing fancy. My parents started it and I help them out when I can."

"I had no idea we had such similar lives," he grinned. He was pretty surprised she had just volunteered such a personal fact out of nowhere, but he wasn't complaining. "Are you following in their footsteps too?"

"No. I'm good at it, and I like helping them out, but it isn't what I want to do. No, I've got my eye on another trade."

"And they're ok with you not following after them?" he wondered. He couldn't imagine Gabriel ever being happy if he said he didn't want to model any more, or worse that he didn't want to work in fashion at all.

"They were maybe a little disappointed but they know how much I love what I'm planning on doing for the rest of my life. They're very supportive."

"Wish my father was. I don't have a choice but to follow him. As far as he's concerned the business is all I should concern myself with–so that business and social life explanation won't work for the phone."

She made a non-committal noise and leant back on her hands. She might have been staring out at their city but he could see her mind was a million miles away trying to puzzle this out. He sat by her side silently, witing.

"What about this then?" she gently prised the photos from his hands and shuffled through them until she found the one she was looking for.

He took it and grinned. Tikki was proudly showing off her home, a tiny pink dot next to the comparatively huge house. It looked like it was in some kind of cupboard or hole in the wall. There were two wooden rails on the wall, one above and one below the house, and a sheet of wood close by which was presumably the door. It actually looked like an ingenious way to hide a house and a kwami. Especially as the wood had been painted the same shade of pink as the walls were. Chat made a mental note to tease his lady about having a pink room at a later date.

"I've hidden Tikki's home away in a recessed cupboard. Her phone and charger are in there too," she pointed out the wires that he had missed in his first perusal of the photo. "No one has seen them and they won't be able to while they're in the cupboard. Maybe you could do something like that in your room at home?"

He was tempted to race home and look into all his cupboards and see if they could be sealed up. There was just one small problem though. "They check my bank account to see what I'm. They'd see that I had bought the phone and the house, even if they didn't actually see them in my room."

"Chat, that's… I…" she looked horrified and he had to remind himself, yet again, that not everyone lived how the Agrestes did.

"Don't fret about it Bug."

"What if I paid for the phone?"

"You?"

She bit her lip, mulling things over. "If I'm careful with my work spending, and budget enough, then I can maybe afford the monthly bills for three phones. It would take me a bit to save up for the phone though. The house wasn't exactly cheap."

Just when he thought he couldn't be any more in love with her she does something like this. She was just so amazing.

He had to decline though. "No. As wonderful, and kind, and sweet, and amazing as that is, you can't throw all your money away like that," he sighed. "Trust me when I say you really _would_ be throwing it away. Plagg wastes a lot of time and money on stupid games on my phone when he's hiding in my bag. I'm constantly getting told off for it."

"How can we sort this out then?" she groaned, and leant over to rest her head on his shoulder.

He wrapped an arm around her. "I don't know, Bug."

They sat in silence for a while, just watching their city. Ladybug couldn't help him more than she had without learning who he really was. But even then she might not be able to help him with how controlling his father was and how much snooping the maids and Nathalie did. They both keenly felt the disappointment of failing their kwami on this.

He sighed when his enhanced hearing picked up the chiming of some church bells in the distance. It was getting pretty late. "It's time we both headed home, Bug. I'll keep the photos so Plagg can see Tikki but you'd better keep her phone number for now. To avoid temptation. Us cats will try and sort something out to get Plagg his home."

"Really?"

"Yeah. If we can think of something then we'll get your input on it."

She smiled at him and leaned up to kiss his cheek before giving him the polaroids and silently parting company. She went right and he went left, back to the stupidly large mansion, back to his large empty room where despite all the space he couldn't hide a home for Plagg.

Their patrol had started so well too.

* * *

Chat Noir had barely faded away to be replaced by Adrien when Plagg pounced, for once not demanding his beloved stinky cheese.

"Where are the photos?"

"Here you go buddy." Adrien held the polaroids out to Plagg and nearly lost his fingers with how quickly the kwami snatched them away.

He set them out one by one on Adrien's computer desk and hovered over them, staring silently. At first Adrien thought it was cute. Here was proof that Plagg actually liked something other than camembert, complaining, camembert, napping, camembert, brie, and camembert. He wondered if he could tease Plagg about his lovesick pining over Tikki's photos the next time Plagg mocked him for swooning over Ladybug?

After a few minutes though it got a bit much.

Plagg just wasn't moving. Not a whisker. He was hovering perfectly still above the photos and just staring at them. He hadn't even stopped to ask for his cheese yet.

Was this payback? Adrien was getting pretty uncomfortable with the complete lack of reaction from his kwami. Was Plagg being deliberately lovesick over Tikki as a way of mocking Adrien? Was this retaliation for Adrien's own pining?

It took five more minutes before Adrien broke. "Tikki is pretty cute."

"She is."

Plagg still didn't move. He just hovered and gazed at the cute pink kwami in the photos.

_Yep,_ Adrien decided, _definitely payback_. He decided to just grab some camembert and see if that broke Plagg out of his trance. He grabbed a wheel from his hidden stash in the cupboard and sat at the desk, opening the packet for Plagg and letting the stench reach his kwami's nose.

It did break Plagg's trance, but only after a minute or two. Plagg eventually floated down to his beloved camembert but he didn't gorge on it. Instead he ripped off small handfuls and ate them slowly, his eyes never leaving Tikki's happy face.

It might have been payback but it was also completely genuine, Adrien realised. "You miss her too, don't you?"

"Of course I do," Plagg scoffed. "She's _my_ Lady, my other half. It's been that way forever."

"She looks pretty happy with her house."

"I bet she is, especially because she picked her favourite colours," Plagg rolled his eyes in a fond gesture.

Adrien was surprised by this new softer side to his kwami. He never would have thought that Plagg could care for something other than cheese. But he knew that, whether human or kwami, Chat Noir was devoted to his Ladybug. He also knew that Plagg would never ever in a million years admit to being sentimental and if Adrien ever tried to bring this tender moment up again he would be bitten. Hard.

"D'you know, we've never had a home of our own before?"

"What? Never?"

"Tikki and I… we're the oldest of the kwami. Creation and destruction. We've been around since the beginning of the universe."

"Whoa…"

How had he not know this already? How had he never asked Plagg any of this before? This was… this was phenomenal stuff. Plagg was as old and the universe. Plagg was nearly fourteen billion years old! Adrien would definitely need to ask more questions about kwami when he had the chance.

"We didn't need or want homes back then," Plagg carried on, totally oblivious to the awe Adrien was feeling. He was still staring at Tikki and eating small handfuls of cheese. "We weren't even properly corporeal. It was only after we got bound to the miraculous stones that we started wanting things like home and family… and good cheese… that was over five millennia ago."

"And you've never had a home?"

"We don't leave our Chosen. We stay by their sides. Usually that means hanging around them all day, every day, and hiding in anything convenient when there are other people around. Plus, humans have only really been playing with things like dolls and houses for a fraction of that time so they weren't always available. Or this elaborate either. The most we've ever had before is a box to hide in and maybe some old clothes for bedding. Tikki… she's always been the emotional one of the two of us… She would have loved this surprise."

Adrien was feeling pretty emotional himself. "We can try and do the same for you too!"

Plagg snorted and shot Adrien his patented 'don't be stupid' look, finally dragging his eyes away from Tikki. "Where?" he cast an annoyed glance around the room, asking the question that Adrien had been struggling with ever since his patrol. "You have a maid that comes in to clean every morning. She hasn't said anything about my camembert stash…"

"Wait, she knows about that?"

"Kid, you hid it in a _cupboard_. One that doesn't even have a lock! Of course she found it."

"I didn't think she went through my things though." Adrien groaned. That was such an invasion of privacy.

"Maybe your manager or the secretary asked her too?"

The sad fact was that Plagg was more than likely right. "They probably would."

"Anyway, she hasn't said anything about my cheese because she thinks a growing boy like you needs more food than your runway diet allows."

"How do you know that?"

"I spy on the house when I'm bored."

Adrien groaned and buried his face in his hands. "I should have known," he mumbled into his palms.

Plagg might be fourteen billion but he had the mentality of a toddler, flitting from one curiosity to the next. And as a cat he had more curiosity than a whole nursery of toddlers combined. _Of course_ he would spy on the house, _of course_ he wouldn't think of the consequences of his actions, _of course_ he would risk blowing Adrien's secret identity because he was _bored_.

Setting aside the issue of a _kwami who wouldn't stay where he was told to_, Plagg's report about the maid was certainly concerning. Camille was a sweet lady. She came in for a few hours every morning to take care of the family's private rooms. Adrien liked her, and his mother had only ever had nice things to say about her. He was glad that Camille seemed to like him enough to keep a mini-mountain of camembert secret from Nathalie and his father, but that was probably the only secret of his she would keep. Food for a starving young model? Yep, she's keep that a secret. Said model suddenly having a fully furnished dolls house? Nope. She'd bring that up to Nathalie.

"Camille would report a dolls house for sure. There isn't a good enough explanation for me having one." Adrien sighed. Plagg just grunted his agreement while he ate his cheese. "So we can't hide it in a cupboard..." he let his gaze drift around the room, analysing every possible nook and cranny for its potential to hide a doll's house. "...we couldn't put one behind the books or dvds either… the bathroom isn't an option... what about the wardrobe?"

Adrien had a large walk in wardrobe right next to his bathroom. He had never considered it as anything but a place to keep the ridiculous amount of clothes he was supplied with as the lead model of _Mode Agreste_. Every morning his outfit for the day was displayed for him on a clothes stand so Adrien never had to spend a lot of time in there. There were lots of shelves though, and rails and all manner of spaces in which they could fit a house.

Plagg snorted. "There's enough space, sure, but your manager goes in there too often. He'd definitely see it. Cover. Blown."

Adrien blinked. Once, Twice. Three times. "My father _what_?"

"Kid," Plagg gave him the 'idiot' look again. "He decides what you wear every day. Obviously he'd go into your walk in wardrobe."

"There's nothing obvious about that!" Adried gaped, staring at the door to his wardrobe in horror. His father went in there? All the time? When Adrien wasn't there? "I thought he just knew what he'd designed for me. Like he had a folder on his computer or something. All he'd have to do is send a print out to the maid, like he does with my schedule."

He didn't know what to think of that. Not only was Camille snooping on him, but Nathalie felt entitled to come into his room whenever she wanted (and had nearly caught Plagg twice because she had a terrible habit of walking into his room before she knocked), and now his father too? What was next, surveillance cameras inside his bedroom as well as outside?

"Urgh," Adrien stood up and started pacing. He hated feeling like he was on display. "I didn't think he'd come into my room all the time without telling me."

"He checks your clothes for wear and tear too. You might want to be careful about that when you're sneaking in and out."

"You couldn't tell me this before?"

"I'm telling you now!"

"Plagg! This is my privacy we're talking about here! Not to mention how we're going to keep you a secret!"

Adrien felt like screaming, he felt like taking a page out of Chloe's book and throwing a tantrum, he just felt so helpless. He kicked his school bag, tipping it over and knocking his papers everywhere, and then, because that just wasn't enough, he kicked the basketball he had left lying on the floor that morning.

He might have put a bit too much of his anger into that kick as the ball hit the back of his sofa, up to his mezzanine balcony, off his DDR machine, over to the climbing wall, bouncing off the skate ramp, before landing on his bed with a soft thud. Adrien froze, listening. Hopefully no one would come and investigate that unusually loud noise from his room.

He just began to relax when a black blur filled his vision.

"Do that again!"

"What?" he stepped back from the suddenly excited kwami in confusion. "Why?"

Plagg rolled his eyes. "Never mind!"

He zipped over to the skate ramp wall closest to Adrien's bed and delicately placed one of his cat ears up against the wall. His claws tapped on the wall, softly at first, then growing increasingly firmer. He repeated that again, and again, and again, all over the wall, before shrieking and phasing straight through.

"Plagg?"

It took a few moments for the kwami to emerge but he was grinning a huge Cheshire smile. "This wall is hollow!"

"Hollow? Really?"

They couldn't be so lucky, could they? He hurried over to the skate ramp, nearly tripping over his school bag as he ran, and placed his ear to the wall just as Plagg had. There was a definite echo behind the wall when he tapped. It was hollow. In fact, no matter where he tapped on the wall he got the same response. The whole thing was hollow!

"You know, we could fit a pretty large house in here," he mused. The wall was easily one metre wide, taller than he was, and ran the whole length of his bed. They could make a whole hidden kwami village, let alone hide a single house.

"I need a ruler, a torch, and pen and paper."

Adrien turned, ready to grab the things Plagg needed, but froze as a thought hit him. "Can you even write?"

"Excuse me!" Plagg glared, fur bristling in indignation. "I was around when they invented writing!"

"No, I meant physically. The pen is bigger than you are."

"Oh. Good point."

It was a very good point as it turned out.

The first pen Adrien handed to Plagg was one of those large, chunky, fountain pens, covered in the _Mode Agreste _logo all over. He had a drawer full of them from his father since that seemed to be the only present Gabriel ever gave him for birthdays, Christmas, and every other special occasion.

It was impossible for the kwami to use. It was so bulky that Plagg had to wrap his arms tightly around it just to hold it upright, which meant that the small delicate movements of the nib across the paper needed to write legibly were not going to happen, and the ink kept leaking out of the nib and covering Plagg's paws.

Adrien quickly dug through his school bag for a regular biro and swapped the pens over before his kwami got annoyed enough to cataclysm the fountain pen. Adrien might not have ever liked or used fountain pens in his life but it was still a gift.

The much lighter biro was easier for the tiny kwami to hold but it was still taller than he was and the result was an inelegant scrawl all over the paper that looked nothing like the numbers and alphabet that Plagg was trying to copy.

"Hey, do you have a pencil kid?"

It took Adrien a minute to dig one out of his bag and he was stunned when, instead of using it, Plagg broke it over his knee.

"Plagg! What…?"

"Here," his kwami threw half of it at him before hurrying back over to the paper with the pointed half in his paws. A few seconds of scribbling later and the tiny god had a smug grin on his face. "_Purr_-fect."

There, on the paper, under the blobs of ink from the fountain pen and illegible scrawls from the biro, was a near perfect copy of the numbers and alphabet, including a passable attempt at a signature.

Adrien had to admit, for a millennia old god, he had really nice handwriting.

"That's great!"

"Now get me the rest of the stuff I need and I'll phase through and get the measurements."

It took a few minutes but Adrien managed to gather enough stuff together. He couldn't find a ruler for Plagg to use but there was a long tape measure left over from his last fitting three days ago. A torch was harder to come by. There wasn't one anywhere in his rooms and he discarded the idea of asking Nathalie for one since she wouldn't stop pestering him until he gave her a reasonable explanation as to why he needed one.

In the end he had to give up his phone and use the torch on there.

"Be careful with it, Plagg. They'll kill me if I break another phone."

He had broken three in various akuma-related accidents and one other in mysterious circumstances (which he was certain was actually due to Plagg messing about with it when he was curious one morning but had no way to prove). They might not kill him for breaking a fifth, he was the lead model of _Mode Agreste _after all, but they would almost certainly withhold a new phone from him until he could prove he was more responsible with his possessions. That fact that it would conveniently keep him out of contact with his friends had nothing to do with it, of course.

Plagg promised and phased through the wall into the empty space and Adrien sat on his bed as close as he could and waited.

And waited.

And waited.

It didn't take this long to take a few measurements, surely? He should know. He got measured and fitted for clothes two or three times a week and it never took this long, did it? Plagg wasn't stuck, was he?

Adrien's worry increased as the seconds ticked by, scenario after scenario going through his mind as he wondered what was taking Plagg so long.

Did he not know how to use the torch on Adrien's phone? Should Adrien have demonstrated? Was he too small to manage the pencil, paper, tape measure, and phone all at once? Was there no air in there? Oh god was his kwami suffocating?

He put his ear to the wall but heard nothing. Was that a good sign or a bad one? Was Plagg ok in there?

He had just raised his hand to knock on the wall when his kwami finally reappeared.

"Jesus Christ, Plagg you're filthy!"

Plagg just glared at him and coughed up a dust ball. His usually sleek black fur was a pale grey with how much dust was in it, the splotches of blue ink from the fountain pen stood out clearly against the paler colour. He had spiderwebs wrapped all around his body, sticking his tail to his left leg and gluing the broken pencil to the back of his head behind one folded down ear.

"Here!" Plagg threw the paper and phone at Adrien then sneezed. "We'll probably need to clean it out before we set my house up."

Adrien just shook his head and grabbed his kwami.

"Cleaning the wall and buying a house can wait! You need to get all that filth off you!"

"No! Not a bath! No Adrien, please I'm begging you. ADRIEN! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

* * *

While Plagg was delighted to be clean again he still felt the need to show his displeasure to Adrien for bathing him in the sink. He was a _cat_ god after all. Adrien awoke the next morning to Plagg's caterwaul instead of his alarm clock and hairball in his shoes. He had to promise never to bathe him again without permission, unless it was a true hygiene emergency, and then things were back to normal between the two cats.

Since today was Sunday and Adrien wasn't in school, _and _he had a rare day off from modelling, the two black cats were able to spend the whole day surfing for the perfect dolls house online.

Plagg had of course wanted to get the largest house possible but Adrien had talked him out of it. A house large enough to fill the large void inside the wall would have to be custom made and that would certainly be traceable by Nathalie. It would be better to buy a regular dolls house and modify it for Plagg as Ladybug had for Tikki.

Plagg had grumbled but eventually given in. A big house was not worth the risk of exposure.

"Alright Plagg, let's buy you a house!"

Adrien grinned as he opened up several pages on his computer. He had a pen and paper at the ready so he could keep a note of the ones Plagg liked, and the maximum dimensions of Plagg's hidden room. It was huge so he didn't think that a regular doll's house would be too big for the space within the walls, but you could never be certain.

Plagg perched on the desk next to the keyboard, staring at the PC monitors expectantly. "I want a mansion."

"Plagg, we've been over this," Adrien sighed. "A custom made house wou-"

"Yeah, yeah, it would be traceable. I'm not asking for that. I'm asking for a mansion."

Why did he have to get stuck with the annoying kwami? "But-"

"Look."

Plagg suddenly pounced at the screen, jabbing eagerly at the screen. It looked nice enough for a doll's house but Adrien had been certain that Plagg had wanted something a bit bigger and more substantial than that.

"That's a mansion!"

It was called the Urban Mansion. Adrien sighed, realising what was going on. Plagg had seen the name and pounced. He had ignored everything else about it, like the fact that it was very small, no taller than 55cm, and made of very cheap plastic.

"Plagg that has only got three rooms!"

The kwami sighed. "Well that will never do then."

"Thank you "

"That's one less than Tikki."

"Plagg!"

Adrien muttered a few curses under his breath. He was beginning to realise that the pleasant house-hunting afternoon he had envisioned was actually going to be one lot of annoyances after another. _Of course_ Plagg would want to one-up Tikki, _of course_ he was going to make this difficult, _of course_ the kwami of destruction and misfortune would be hard to please. He sighed and counted to ten to calm down.

"Look, why don't we decide what you want before we start looking? It'll help narrow down our search."

Plagg scoffed. "How many dolls houses can there be?"

Adrien shot Plagg an incredulous look before gesturing at his computer. There were eight tabs open to the biggest toy retailers in France. He scrolled through them one by one showing Plagg the hundreds of search results on each page. There were easily over two thousand houses to look through.

Plagg gulped. "Let's do it your way then kid."

"How generous."

Plagg either didn't hear the sarcasm in Adrien's voice of he ignored it. Adrien was willing to bet it was the latter since Plagg did have an awfully high opinion of himself. The smug grin on his face at being called generous was also a bit of a giveaway. Honestly he was such a git sometimes.

Plagg floated down from the computer screen and sat next to the keyboard, deep in thought. Adrien picked up his pen, ready to write down the list of things Plagg wanted as soon as his kwami had decided.

"Let's see…" the tiny god mused. "I want it to be bigger than Tikki's, with more rooms - so definitely a mansion - and it has to reflect my _paw_some personality, not to mention that I am a refined cat of good breeding-"

"As detailed as that is," Adrien interrupted what was sure to become another listing of Plagg's most amazing qualities. "I was thinking a bit more about what you're going to use the rooms for. Like this."

Adrien grabbed the Polaroid photos of Tikki's home and showed a few to Plagg. Ladybug's neat handwriting noted what each room was going to be used for as well as a few tips on making a kwami home from a doll's house. There was a before and after shot of each room and a photo of Tikki posing in her new home with everything in its place. Each room had a definite purpose and if he could get Plagg to cooperate and list what he wanted then they would know where to start looking.

"If we know what rooms you'll need, we can make this search go a lot faster."

Plagg mulled that over before nodding decisively. "I suppose. Let's see… I definitely need a bedroom, and a TV room."

"Ok."

Adrien scribbled them down onto his list. They were pretty obvious room choices, truth be told, but at least they were making a proper start on their house hunting adventure.

"… and I'll need a place to keep my beloved camembert…"

"Of course you will," he drawled. He shouldn't have expected any less really. That little glutton loved his cheese.

"… and I'll probably need a cleaning room too…"

"You will?"

"Kid, did you see how filthy I was? My room will need a good clean before we can put my house up, and I'll have to keep it clean. Those brushes and mops Ladybug made for Tikki look like a good idea."

"Ok. That makes sense," Adrien nodded, remembering the fight Plagg had put up to avoid getting bathed. "I'll add that to the list."

"Good. Now that was the fourth room, which makes me equal with Tikki, so… I'll need at least one more room. I can use that to exercise."

"You exercise?"

Boy, Plagg was just full of surprises tonight, wasn't he? The laziest kwami in existence wanted an exercise room?

"I'm a cat, kid. We might sleep the day away but we also keep fit. Otherwise how could I keep looking as gorgeous as I am?" Plagg winked, running his paws through his fur in a seductive manner reminiscent of some of the models Adrien worked with.

Adrien snorted. "Debatable. Now how about a wardrobe room too?"

"I don't know… can you sew?"

"Me?"

"Yeah, what was I thinking. Of course you can't."

"I could ask Ladybug for some help," he mused. Those clothes she had made for Tikki were just adorable, and certainly way beyond his skill level. He could thread a needle, and sewing was basically just making lots of knots in fabric to hold it all together, right? "We could make you a soft bed at least." He hoped.

"I like that idea. Ok. Six rooms. Minimum. And I want a balcony and stairs too."

"Why?"

"Tikki has them."

"I should have known. Ok then!"

Adrien turned back to the computer and opened the first tab of search results. This was the website of the largest toy company in France. Theoretically they should be able to find exactly what Plagg wanted here, but knowing their luck it would be the very last house they looked at on the very last website. He just hoped they got through it quickly enough so that Nathalie didn't notice him searching for a dolls' house.

He quickly filtered out the smaller houses and the ones not made of wood but they were still left with over 100 houses.

The third one down looked promising. Nice and big, plenty of rooms, and there were stairs too. "What do you think?"

"Nope." Plagg barely glances at it.

"Why?"

"I want a mansion, not an-" he peered at the screen, "-Edwardian town house. Next!"

Adrien sighed and reminded himself that this was the first house Plagg would ever own. Of course he wanted it to be special. Therefore he was allowed to be as picky as he wanted. Adrien could let him have this and hopefully make it through the day without throttling his kwami.

He ignored the next seven. They weren't specifically called mansions. The one after that looked promising though. Eight rooms, plenty of space for whatever Plagg wanted to fill his home with, and a gorgeous balcony.

"What about this one?"

"No. There's no stairs."

"But you can phase throu-"

"Tikki has stairs."

"Fine!"

With another reminder not to kill Plagg, Adrien turned back to the search.

Five hours later and his patience was stretched to the breaking point. Nothing was good enough for the annoying cat. Nothing! It was either lacking something that Tikki had, which was a huge disadvantage in Plagg's eyes, or it was too small, or too big, or not _paw_-some enough, or it had too few rooms, or too many.

He was reminding himself every five seconds not to kill his kwami by this point.

"Alright, what about this one?"

Adrien personally quite liked this one. It was a large sized dolls' house, made for 12-inch fashion dolls rather than the smaller figurines, so Plagg would have plenty of room to move about it. There were stairs and not one but _two_ balconies. There were six rooms of varying sizes and, Adrien was particularly delighted to see this detail, it even had a lift! Plagg should like that. It was something befitting his station as a refined gentle-cat of good breeding and Tikki didn't have anything like that.

He was praying that Plagg would say yes.

"Eh, maybe?"

Ok. That was it. He was killing his kwami.

"Plagg! _What the hell is wrong with this one_!" he whisper-screamed. "It has everything you want and more, and stuff that Tikki doesn't have. It even comes with furniture!"

"Oh, all that stuff is great."

"So what is wrong with it?"

"It's too girly."

"Too girly? _Too girly_!" Adrien clenched his hands into fists in an effort to stop him strangling Plagg. Had he really been rejecting house after house after house, over and over and over again, just because they were too girly?

Plagg either didn't notice or didn't care about Adrien's anger. "Yep. It's too girly. Tikki might like pink but it isn't this cat's colour."

_Breathe in… and out… and in… and out… and don't kill your kwami no matter how annoying he gets_, Adrien reminded himself.

"Two things, Plagg. One, you do realise that doll's houses are considered a girls toy and therefore marketed almost exclusively to girls and therefore in colours stereotypically associated with girls such as pink? Two, it doesn't matter what the colour is because we were going to redecorate it anyway!"

"Huh," Plagg cocked his head to one side. "Yeah, I didn't think of that. Ok, this one is the one I want then."

"Just like that?"

"Yup. Buy it kid!"

There was a thudding sound as Adrien hit his head against his computer desk. Again and again and again.

* * *

The next obstacle was how to hide the purchase of a doll's house from Nathalie.

He knew she looked over his bank account pretty frequently. She would give him lectures about wise spending and appropriate purchases at least once a week, telling him that he shouldn't be wasting him money on silly chocolates (the days after he bought some for Marinette to thank her for training with him for the gaming tournament) or that he should be more careful of his diet (hours after he paid for a group lunch at a fast food restaurant) or that he was absolutely not allowed to wear anything other than his _Mode Agreste_ designer clothes when he had tried, and failed, to purchase a Ladybug hoodie.

She would see the purchase from a toy shop and undoubtedly question it. So how could he get it by her?

Plagg provided the answer, shockingly enough.

"Didn't your classmate, you know, Mlle. Cheerful, have some charity thing for kids?"

Plagg stubbornly refused to give people names if he didn't have to. He would usually call Ladybug by her name, and now Tikki too, but more often than not he would give them a nickname. Nino was Headphones, Alya was Blog-girl, Nathalie was the secretary, his father was the manager.

Sometimes he kept changing the nickname. Chloe had a new one every week it seemed - Stinky Perfume, Blonde Bitch, Mlle. Mean, Shrill Voice, Two-Face, Annoying. Marinette had been Pigtails until Chat Noir had called her Princess _once_ and now Plagg refused to call her anything else just to tease Adrien.

It took Adrien a second to realise that Plagg's nickname referred to Rose in this instance.

"Plagg that's perfect!"

Rose was on the school's charity committee with Marinette and the two of them had asked their class for any help, either time, money, or donations, to help but clothes for the kids at the local children's hospital. Adrien had promised to help in whatever way his schedule allowed but this gave him the perfect cover for buying Plagg's mansion. He quickly added about another hundred toys to his online basket and purchased the lot.

He wasn't surprised when, half an hour later, Nathalie poked her head through the door to ask what he was up to. She was surprisingly pleased to hear he was getting involved in charity work and promised to let his father now of his impressive initiative in the matter. She left after promising to have all of the toys delivered to his room when they arrived so that he could arrange delivery via his classmates.

Thus began an anxious week of waiting.

The first few toys arrived the day after he bought them. It was a mountain of stuffed teddy bears of all shapes and sizes. Plagg scowled when his house didn't arrive, and Adrien teased that he looked just like the grumpy cat teddy. Said teddy got launched at his head by the annoyed cat-god.

The board games and puzzles arrived two days after that. Plagg poked his nose into a few of the boxes before declaring them boring and ignoring them. Adrien thought they were all great and was considering keeping a few for himself but he didn't want to press his luck. It was going to be hard enough to hide Plagg's mansion from Nathalie, he didn't want to try and hide the games too.

The third delivery arrived during a school day. Nathalie informed him over dinner that it had been taken to his room and added to the exponentially growing pile of toys that needed to be donated as soon as possible. He promised he would do that and ran for his bedroom where there was a stack of dolls, ride on cars, bikes, and one large pink box.

Adrien whooped when he saw the long awaited doll's house was part of this delivery and snatched it up out of the pile, hurrying over to his bed.

"It's here, Plagg! It's here!"

A black blur shot out of the paper bin where he had been hiding. "Really? My mansion?" Plagg shrieked when he saw it. "Open it, open it, open it!"

"I will, I will, we just need to…"

Adrien froze and looked at the wall in front of them. In all of their haste to measure the space and find the perfect home for the exceptionally picky cat kwami, there was one small but very crucial and utterly important detail that they had forgotten to do.

Plagg groaned and rubbed his paws over his eyes. "We can't get the house into the wall!"

"Could you phase-"

Plagg hissed his displeasure at that suggestion.

"So that's a no?"

"I might - _might!_ \- be able to phase some of the smaller pieces through, but how the hell do you expect me to build it on my own?"

Adrien sighed. "Could… could we cataclysm the wall?"

"Only if you like living outdoors… besides, Miraculous Cure would fix it. I'm too lazy to Cataclysm my door open every day."

Adrien groaned and threw himself face down on his bed. This was a disaster! There was only one more toy shipment due and he had promised Nathalie to get rid of all of them once all the deliveries had arrived. He had at most one day to think of a way to get into the wall without potentially destroying his home with the power of destruction or doing such a terrible job that Camille the maid would investigate and report this to Nathalie.

This was a total disaster.

He was the one with the power of destruction, not creation. How the heck could he come up with a genius plan like Ladybug-

"Ladybug!"

Plagg rolled his eyes. "Kid, focus. House now, lovesick kitten later!"

"No!" he huffed and grabbed his kwami off the bed. "She can help us work this out! She's hidden one kwami house already, hasn't she?"

Plagg's only answer was to start headbutting the ring, demanding to be let in. Adrien happily obliged.

* * *

Chat Noir raced across the rooftop straining to see the familiar glimpse of red that meant his Lady was close by. When he finally did see it he pounced - literally!

"Ladybug!"

"Gah!"

"I got the- oof!"

In hindsight he should probably have made his presence known to her before tackling her out of the air onto a nearby roof. She probably thought he was an akuma. Almost certainly, judging by the way she rolled into the landing and came up punching and kicking. Thank god she missed his face though! There was no way he could have explained away a black eye to his father.

"Chat? _What the hell_!"

"I got the house!" Chat grinned, ardently rubbing at the forming bruise on his arm, ignoring the pain in his rush to explain. "Plagg found a hollow wall in my room and we measured it and it is perfect for a kwami house so we bought one but we have no way of getting it into the wall so please, please, _please_ can you take pity on these poor cats and help us?"

Ladybug blinked. That was a huge info dump. It took a few moments for her to catch up with what he said but she gave an excited squeak when it sank in.

"You've got Plagg a house? Really?"

"Yes!"

"Chat this is amazing!"

"I know!"

The two of them were practically bouncing in excitement on top of the roof, gushing over a dolls house. Thank God no one could see them right now.

"What's it like?"

"It's a mansion!"

"Seriously?"

"He is a cat of refined and expensive tastes, thank _mew furry_ much."

"Urgh," she rolled her eyes at the puns but couldn't fully rid herself of the smile on her face. "So you can't get it into the wall, right?"

He sighed and shook his head, flopping down onto the roof. "No. We got so excited to buy the house we overlooked the part where we need to get it into the wall. And I have, like, twenty-four hours _at most_ before someone finds the house and I have no idea how to hide it! We even considered cataclysm, LB. That is how desperate Plagg and I are."

She didn't answer straight away, cocking her head to one side the way she did when she was figuring out a Lucky Charm, and Chat Noir hardly dared to breathe. This was the single most important thing in his life at the moment and he didn't dare disturb her concentration. Frankly, if she couldn't help, he was doomed!

"Can you meet me back here in ten minutes with the house? And the measurements of the wall?"

"...yes?"

"Great. See you back here soon, _Chaton_."

She flung her yoyo out and darted off almost before she had finished speaking. Chat was left with no option but to do what he always did: follow her commands. He didn't bother de-transforming when he returned to the mansion, instead he just grabbed the dolls house and Plagg's measurements, and hurried back to the roof. The whole trip took less than one minute so he settled himself against the wall to wait for his Lady's return.

He didn't really have to wait that long. She was back well before her ten minute time limit was up, a small black bag slung over one shoulder.

Ladybug snorted when she saw him. "Eager little kitten, aren't we?"

He shrugged. "Plagg really wants this house."

"I gathered that when you bought the house before opening the wall, _Chaton_."

"... I'm not living that down, am I?"

"Not for the next few weeks at least," she giggled. Ladybug finally seemed to notice the house propped up against the chimney wall next to him and gasped in delight. "Is that it? It's adorable!"

"You mispronounced _claw_-some, milady. It is a _purr_-fectly _claw_-some house for a cat of Plagg's breeding."

"I don't have to help, you know?"

He groaned. "Fine. Tonight only, no intentional puns, ok?"

"Intentional?"

"I sometimes can't help it," he chuckled sheepishly and rubbed the back of his neck with one clawed hand. He really couldn't help it sometimes. Puns had been part of his life for years, ever since his mum had laughed her head off at a silly Christmas cracker joke. It was hard _not_ to make them. "But this is about our kwamis, not puns. Now can you help?"

"Of course I can!"

She crossed the roof and sat down next to the box, leaning back against the chimney wall. Ladybug grabbed a blank notebook and pencil out of the bag then handed it to him and gestured for him to open it while she started scribbling numbers and measurements in her notebook.

He opened it and gaped in surprise. "Ladybug?"

"I don't know about you," she grinned, "but I work best when I have treats. Hurry and open them, kitty."

He didn't need to be told twice.

Her bag held a large plastic box filled to the top with mouth wateringly delicious treats. He opened the lid quickly, almost moaning in delight as the scent of sugar and fruit and chocolate hit his enhanced nose, and marvelled at the treasures within. Different types and shapes of cookies, adorable fondant covered petit four cakes, mini fruit tartelettes, and macarons - so many gorgeous macarons.

Chat nearly forgot about the bag until a small glint of red caught his eye. He set the treats between the two of them, noting that Ladybug immediately went for a bright pink macaron, and opened her bag again. There was a large thermos in there as well as two mugs.

"Ladybug and Chat Noir?" he chuckled. He never would have guessed his Lady would have a Ladybug mug, bright red and covered in black spots and a passable imitation of her yoyo, and he was thrilled to see a Chat Noir mug too, covered in beautiful miniature green paw prints, glowing cats eyes, and finished with a stick resembling his baton.

She winked. "I've got to support my favourite kitty somehow."

Chat laughed at that and cracked open the thermos. Hot chocolate. God it smelled as good as the rest of the treats! He had to remember to ask her where she got these from. If this feast tasted even half as good as it looked and smelled then he was going to buy the shop out, model diet be damned.

He filled their mugs and took the Ladybug one for himself, snagging a few cookies to enjoy with his drink.

"Oh my god these are amazing!"

"Thanks. Now hush!"

With beautiful snacks like these available Chat was more than willing to comply. The petit fours cakes were divine, tiny mouthfuls of pure heaven, and the macarons were mouthwateringly perfect. And the cookies… well he just couldn't eat them fast enough. He was totally cheating on his nutritionally balanced diet but he really didn't care - besides, he was a growing boy _and_ a superhero, he definitely needed the extra fuel.

He made sure to leave some of every flavour in the box for Ladybug to eat. She was clearly in a world of her own, comparing the information on the dolls house box to Plagg's list of measurements, scribbling several ideas down onto a notebook she had brought with her. Some she crossed out straight away, some she left as is, and some she put a few doodles next to. Every so often she would reach out for a snack and nibble on it while she mulled over the problem of the wall.

Chat was just toying with the idea of allowing their hands to brush as they both reached for the last petit four when she sighed and set her notepad to one side.

"Ok. I think I've got it."

"You have?"

"I think so?" she shrugged. She cupped her hands around her mug of hot chocolate and frowned at the papers and the house. "I can't be totally sure this will work without actually seeing the wall in your room, but, you know…"

His cat ears drooped when he realised what she meant. "Yeah. Secret identities."

"I'm sorry, _Chaton_," she reached over and set her hand on his arm, squeezing it gently. They both knew it was far too much of a risk to reveal their identities while Hawkmoth was still a threat. "Anyway," she took her hand back and grabbed her notepad again. "Back to this. The house will definitely fit but it's getting into the wall _without_ anyone in your house noticing that's the real problem. Are you good with DIY?"

"I could use Cataclysm on it if you want?"

"That answers that question," she laughed and rolled her eyes. "So you'll definitely need to ask someone you can trust to help you with this. All they need to do is make part of the wall into a door - it's hollow so if they cut out a rectangle shape, add a hinge of sorts, and a small lock so it doesn't just swing open, then you have a door. All you need to do then is to cover it up with a poster or a piece of furniture. Voila. Hidden kwami house."

"Really? That's it."

"Yeah. Like this, see."

She ripped out one of the paged in her notebook and showed it to him. There, in her very cute handwriting, she had drawn the instructions out for him, including close-ups of the hinges and locks she suggested would be good, and annotated it all in clear and precise instructions. He could possibly follow these instructions on his own, they were that good, but doing that could also be a disaster of epic proportions. If he messed up even a little then everyone would know. No, it would be safer to ask Nino for help. If he couldn't help then he could at least point him in the Direction of someone who could.

Plus, he wasn't sure what to make of the cute note she had written at the bottom. _Set lock to inside_.

"What does this mean?"

"I thought it might be an idea to put the lock on the inside so that Plagg could control access, but I don't know how you'd explain that to a friend. I know _I'd_ certainly wonder why a friend of mine wanted to build a tiny hidden room in their bedroom that they could lock themselves inside."

He could just imagine trying to explain that to Nino. It would not go well. He would undoubtedly botch the explanation and either give his identity away or worry Nino enough to have him call the police onto Gabriel. Neither were good options. "Yeah, that would be… odd. I might stick with a normal lock."

"If you get a hidden one then it wouldn't stand out against the wall and give Plagg's mansion away, but still keep it secure." Ladybug smiled and ripped out another page of her scribblings. "Here, I doodled a few instructions."

By a few she clearly meant enough instructions to allow even him to buy the right hardware and install the cupboard alone. These were incredibly detailed. She'd even written tips on buying the correct locks and what kind of price rang he should be looking at.

"Is this stuff easy to get?"

"Yeah. I've bought things like that from local DIY shops before. If you pay cash then your family can't trace it either."

"That's great!" Chat beamed and read over the notes again. His Lady really had thought of everything it seemed. That she was also willing to reveal herself to come and help him was just amazing in his mind. He was so lucky to have her in his life. He would have to get Nino involved with this now though. "I definitely couldn't do this at all, but I bet I know a friend of mine who could."

"That's great Chat!" Ladybug beamed in relief. They were almost there. "Do you want me to keep the house safe for you?"

"Will you?"

"Sure. It can stay safe at mine for as long as it takes for your friend to help you with the door. Tikki and I will keep it safe for you."

"Thanks Bug."

"Any time, _Chaton_."

Ladybug didn't make a move to leave immediately. Instead she reached for another macaron, the bright pink raspberry one, and prompted him to do the same. He grabbed a bright yellow one - _oh, mango!_ \- and ate it in one bite. She rolled her eyes at him and he just winked.

These quiet moments were his favourite part of being a superhero. When it was just the two of them, no villain to fight, no citizens to protect, they were just two friends hanging out.

"So," she drawled with a grin. "Since you didn't have a size limit like I did, how long did it take you to find a house for a cat of Plagg's excellent breeding?"

He cackled. "Oh, LB, you are in for quite a tale!"

Their laughter rang out through the night as he regaled her with the epic struggle he had in trying not to maim or murder Plagg while they were house hunting for the annoying kwami. He didn't even have to exaggerate the absurdity of it. Plagg's eccentricities were amusing enough on their own.

They parted ways with a hug a few hours later. Their ribs hurt and their throats were sore from laughing but they were happy. It was the best night they had together in weeks.

* * *

"Nino!"

Adrien made a beeline for his friend in the morning. He was chatting and laughing with Alya and Marinette on the steps of the school. Normally Adrien would either join in or sneak into the school to avoid interrupting them. Today wasn't normal though.

"Nino, can I talk to you?"

Fortunately, Nino was good at reading Adrien's emotions. He could see how serious this conversation was going to be and immediately switched his attention from the girls. "Sure, bro. What's up?"

"Boy talk time, eh?" Alya rolled her eyes and looped her arm through Marinette's. "We'll leave you two bros to it then. Come on girl."

Marinette barely managed to wave and say what he thought was a good morning to him before Alya pulled her away. He waved back but all his focus was on his best friend. Nino had to know how to help or who would be the best one to help make this hidden room a reality.

"What's wrong, bro? You're wound up."

"Yeah, well," Adrien huffed. He pulled Nino over to one of the benches far enough from the crowd that they wouldn't be overheard. "You know how my father can be a little…" he paused, trying to find the right word.

"A little Gabriel Agreste?" Nino added wryly.

Adrien laughed. "Yes. Exactly. Well I found out last week that my room isn't quite as private as I thought."

"Wait, what?"

So Adrien told him about the things that Plagg had seen. The maid snooping through his things and reporting most of it back to his father via Nathalie, his food stash only being overlooked because she thought he was too thin, his purchases and bank accounts being monitored, his father coming into his room to choose his outfits for him and to examine the wear on the clothes to see how active his son was being. How he was genuinely getting concerned that his every move was being monitored. How he was starting to fear there would be cameras installed in his room in addition to the ones outside of the window to detect burglars and kidnappers.

Nino was horrified. He'd known Adrien's father was strict - and that was the nicest word for it - but this was just messed up. This wasn't parenting by any definition. This was control pure and simple. No wonder Adrien had been so socially inept when they had met. He'd always suspected there was more to what little he had seen and heard, but this… never in his wildest dreams would he have imagined something as horrifying as this.

But he knew Adrien didn't need to hear that from him. No, right now Adrien needed the assurance that he still had friends, and friends who were going to be there for him.

"How can I help?"

Adrien gave a half grin. "I've been talking to a friend at work about this, and I've got an idea. There's a hollow wall next to my bed…"

"... oh, dude, that's awesome! We can make you a hidden room!"

"It's a bit too small for a room," Adrien said with a wry grin, "but I can definitely keep a few things in there. It's the only way I can think of to keep some things private. I've got a plan of what to do, thanks to my friend, but I have no clue how to _actually_ do it. I was hoping you could sneak in one day and help me make it?"

"I am so there! I helped my mums do something like this a few months ago - they used a hollow wall space to add in some shelving and extra storage in their bedroom. I think I remember how to do it, so we might not even need your friends plans. Maybe we could get you a giant Ladybug poster too?"

"To hide it? Definitely!"

"So when do you need this done?"

"Honestly, as soon as possible. I just don't know how to sneak you in. Father is home right now."

"And he certainly won't let me in your house," Nino huffed remembering his only meeting with his best friend's dad. "He'll be on a business trip again soon, right?"

"Probably."

"So this is what we'll do then. I'll grab a bag together of all the stuff we need to do this and have it ready for your text giving the all clear. You said that Nathalie is more relaxed when your dad is away, so let's use that. Tell her you really need to go over something for a test and that I'm going to study with you for an hour or so."

"I don't know if that would work. She might want to supervise."

Nino smirked. "Just pull out your model pout bro. Maybe some puppy dog eyes. She won't be able to say no to that."

Adrien laughed, his first proper laugh in a long time. "Ok, we'll try it your way."

"I might not be a genius at school like you, Mr Smarts, but I can have some good ideas," Nino teased, winking to let him know it was a joke. "Is there anything else you need?"

"I'm going to buy a second phone, to keep in the cupboard in case I ever get cut off."

"But they monitor your purchases."

"Which is why I was hoping that you would maybe buy the phone for me?"

Adrien let out the breath he didn't even realise he had been holding at Nino's eager nod. He was truly blessed with such great friends if both Ladybug and Nino were willing to buy him a phone without hesitation.

They were running out of time before school and so he hurried on. "I'll give you the money every month for it, Nathalie never questions me taking a little cash out of the account for things like a latte or something every so often, so she won't be suspicious about that. I can even vary the amount each month so it doesn't look like a bill."

"Dude, I am so stoked for this! Let's stick it to the man!"

They laughed together as they made their way to class. Adrien felt so much lighter now that he knew Plagg's home was even closer to being built that before. The doll's house was being kept safe at Ladybug's house, Nino was going to help him make the cupboard as soon as his father took his next trip away from home, the second phone was practically in his grasp.

It was all coming together. Slowly but surely, Plagg was getting his own home.

* * *

They got lucky and Gabriel left nine days after Adrien had approached Nino about his idea.

It wasn't a vital business trip. Their Fashion House in Milan needed Gabriel to sign off on a few major purchases and oversee a new line, all of which could technically be done over video call, but Gabriel wanted to feel the new fabrics and had ordered Nathalie to book his flight immediately. However, he didn't need her to accompany him this time. Instead she was to remain at home and oversee Adrien as he went through his scheduled activities.

Adrien waited until the third day after his father had left before approaching Nathalie. He was only scheduled to do independent study at home all afternoon, no lessons and no tutors. Generally speaking that meant that Nathalie would leave him alone all afternoon and he could goof off however much he wanted.

The model pout did the trick and Nathalie caved, turning a blind eye to Nino's arrival at the mansion. Plagg had phased in and out of the wall for hours that morning, helping Adrien to mark out a rough pencil outline of the cupboard they were going to hide his mansion in, and the kwami was hidden safely in Adrien's school bag on the bed so he could keep an eye on the project.

Nino was ushered into Adrien's room and the two of them were left alone. They shared a conspiratorial grin before Nino tipped out the contents of his construction bag onto Adrien's bed. Adrien noted that he had all the tools and hardware that Ladybug had proposed he buy and was glad that his friend did indeed know what he was doing.

Adrien put some music on to cover the noise and within half an hour Nino had managed to cut part of the wall away, make it into a door, affix it to the wall, hide it with a giant poster of Ladybug and Chat Noir, and left a dumbfounded model staring at his handiwork. He had no idea it would look so easy.

They spent about ten minutes just testing the door. When they were certain it wouldn't fall off they ran around the room looking at the poster from every angle - and Nino absolutely did not freak out when he saw his best friend dangling upside down from the balcony to look at the poster, no he did not - before they determined it was a perfect hidden cupboard.

They shared a celebratory fist bump before pouncing on the food Adrien's chef had left out for them and actually doing some of their homework. That was how Nathalie found them an hour later when she came to shoo Nino out of the mansion.

Nino gathered his things together and made to follow Nathalie before stopping. "Oh, hey, I nearly forgot," he grinned and pulled a small gift bag out of his school bag. "Thanks for helping me study, bro."

He left it on Adrien's bed with a wink and followed Nathalie out of the door. It had barely closed before Adrien was rifling through the bag.

Nathalie would undoubtedly want to see what it was when she returned and he needed to know if it was something that he should hide in Plagg's cupboard.

The tag said '_something you really need_' and under a layer of tissue paper were two of the most beautiful looking croissants he had ever seen. Nino was too good for this world! But… why was the bag so heavy then?

He set the tissue paper and croissants to one side carefully before reaching into the bottom of the bag. There was some more tissue paper there and underneath that…

"Is that my phone!"

Plagg shrieked in delight and zoomed out of Adrien's bag to see the boxed phone that Nino had hidden in the gift bag. It wasn't brand new but it was a decent model from a good brand and sturdy enough that even the god of destruction should have a hard enough time damaging it.

"It is. Wow, now we need to get Nino a thank you gift."

"I could give him an eighth of camembert, maybe?"

"That's generous of you," Adrien gaped. Plagg offering to share cheese? He must _really_ be impressed with the phone and how Nino snuck it to them. His eyes widened. "Plagg, quick, the door!"

His kwami understood and dove for the poster covered door, opening the lock in a heartbeat. Adrien set the phone in there and stuffed the tissue paper and croissants back into the bag while Plagg closed and locked the door. They were just in time as Nathalie appeared again a second later.

"Adrien?"

Her look at the gift bag was one that would tolerate no refusals. He read the tag to her and held out the croissants. It had to be his imagination but her was sure her expression softened a little.

"I'm glad to see you have friends who know how to give an appropriate thank you gift. Don't spoil your appetite."

And with that she was gone leaving a very confused Adrien behind. He barely reacted when Plagg flew over and perched on his shoulder.

"Wow. Who would have thought the secretary had a heart?"

"She cares, she just…"

He trailed off. He wanted to defend her, really he did. She tried to make his life better. She had even fought his father for him to go to school, something Adrien would be forever indebted to her for, but she was still so distant.

"So…?"

"So what, Plagg?"

"So let's get to work on my phone!"

Adrien snorted at that but let plagg drag him along to the cupboard and open his phone box. It was a good brand, easy to set up, and easy for Plagg to navigate with his paws. They had soon downloaded a few games and TV apps for Plagg to amuse himself with.

Plagg refused to programme Adrien's number into his phone though. Tikki's had to be first.

"Well, if that's how you want it… Plagg, Claws Out!"

He transformed in a burst of green light, waves of magic and black leather covering Adrien and revealing Chat Noir to the world. He grabbed his baton and immediately sent a message to his Lady.

-_The cupboard is done and we have the phone_-

Adrien reappeared then. There was no point is wasting his transformation waiting for a reply that would more than likely take hours to come. He had plenty of homework to do and games to play, and Plagg could amuse himself with his phone and stinky cheese.

Sure enough, his reply only came after he had eaten and retired to his room that night. Plagg told him he had a message so he quickly transformed to read it.

-_Got held up with work, kitty, but that's great news. Usual spot in 15 mins?_-

Adrien reappeared and told his kwami the good news. Plagg whooped in delight and inhaled a celebratory wheel of camembert before they transformed again and shot across the Parisian rooftops.

Ladybug had beaten him there once again but this time he didn care. This time she was holding the box containing Plagg's home! He whooped in excitement as he landed next to her. It was happening! It was finally happening!

"I can't wait to build this!"

She laughed. "Hold on a second, _mon minou_."

"Why?" He was practically vibrating in excitement.

"I need to show you Plagg's housewarming present first!"

He had been so focussed in the large pink box of Plagg's mansion that he hadn't realised there was a shopping bag tight next to it, overflowing with what looked like fabrics. Ladybug passed it over to him with a smile.

Chat returned her grin but t fell from his face when he realised exactly what he was holding. Clothes. Tiny kwami sized clothes. They were adorable.

He stared down at them in awe. He knew a thing or two about clothes by now and the attention to detail and the craftsmanship involved in making these was nothing short of amazing.

There was a little black and green knitted beanie with holes cut out for Plagg's cat ears. A black scarf with green paw prints. A thick winter coat. A tiny neon green rain coat that made his want to squeal because it was just so adorable. He nearly did squeal when he found the matching rain boots and umbrella.

But the best was the little black jacket, with a silver zip up the front, a gold bell on the collar, and the beautiful green embroidery on the back proclaiming Plagg to be _the cat's meow_.

"Tikki and I…"

Ladybug hesitated, sounding nervous, and he looked up to see her biting her lip. It took him far longer than it should have to realise that she had been waiting for a response from him, a more obvious one than staring at the clothes in speechless awe, and his lack of reaction was making her think that she had overstepped in some way.

He watches in surprise as she began babbling from her nerves. "Tikki and I… well, we just couldn't resist. It was mainly Tikki's idea, honestly, she just wanted to treat Plagg, but we figured the two of you might need a hand getting everything set up, and we had no idea if you could sew but we didn't want to presume you couldn't just because you couldn't DIY, and…"

"They're incredible!"

"You… you like them?"

"I _love_ them!" He beamed up at her, willing her to see the sincere joy and wonder of his face, and she finally relaxed and grinned back. "These… these are amazing."

He sat down and pulled clawfuls of tiny clothes out of the bag, marvelling at each cute little individual piece. Black and green were the most prominent colours, but there were reds and purples and blues and yellows too, and even a few white pieces. They were mostly jackets, hats, scarves, and coats, but the final piece he pulled out of the bag was the cutest thing he had ever seen.

Chat was no longer able to contain his squeal of delight when he saw the Plagg sized Ladybug onesie, complete with holes for his ears and tail, and he squealed again when Ladybug giggled and told him that Tikki had a Chat Noir one.

"Bugaboo, these are _amazing_!"

"Thanks."

"The detailing is just brilliant, and the stitching is the neatest I've ever seen… how the heck did you do all of this in such a short amount of time?"

"Well, I made the patterns while I was putting the house together for Tikki. It was no effort to adapt them to Plagg," she shrugged it off.

"They're amazing. _You're _amazing!"

Ladybug blushed and ducked her head a little and Chat thought his heart might combust. Too cute!

"Tikki and I made a few other things too," she opened the bag a little wider and pointed out the objects that had been hidden by the pile of adorable kawmi clothing. "We used some of the furniture that came with the house and made some others. Plagg now has a bed, a few bedding sets, a camembert shaped bean-bag chair, some felt carpeting, some curtains and a few other things."

Chat fought the urge to squeal again. They were adorable.

The princess pink bed and the baby blue chaise had both been painted in a way to mimic heavy oak furniture and heavily padded for Plagg's comfort. The fabric was now a deep emerald green in what looked like a high thread count cotton. The piano bench had been left black but the top had been padded and covered in the same green cotton as the bed and chaise. They looked like they were part of a whole furniture set now. The lamp completed the set, the pink and purple colour scheme being covered by an oak effect paint and the lamp shade painted in a matching emerald green.

The deck chair had been left painted as it was to match the other furniture. It too had been padded - and Chat was amazed by how much the two bugs had thought about Plagg's comfort in furnishing his mansion - but unlike the other chairs this was covered in a rich ruby red covered in hand stitched black polka dots. It was a Ladybug deck chair. Chat was not jealous at all (he totally was).

He laughed loudly at the camembert bean-bag. It looked exactly like a squishy round of Plagg's favourite stinky cheese, there was even a gap where an eighth had been cut out and a few nibble marks around the outside. It was just so cute. He could already see Plagg curling up on there for a cat nap.

"I know I've said this so much tonight but this, all of this, it's just amazing!"

Ladybug just shrugged as if to say it was nothing. He was ready to fight her on that - she had done all of this just so their kwami could be comfortable and have the chance to speak to each other, that was nothing short of incredible - but he got distracted when she reached down for the dolls house box. A box that he had only just noticed was already open.

"Tikki thought that Plagg deserved to be able to move into his house as soon as possible, so we also did a little decorating too."

She pulled out a long wooden board and showed it off. One side was a beautifully decorated exterior of a house, elegant and sophisticated as befitting Plagg's choice of mansion, and he could see where some of the pink details had been painted over to better reflect Plagg's taste in decor. The other side should have shown the house's interior but instead it was completely white.

"We painted all of the walls and floors a few days ago - there won't be a smell of paint to give it away to your dad or his assistant - but its a blank canvas for you two to decorate."

There was another thing he had forgotten in his haste to buy Plagg a house. Despite knowing they would have to decorate it he hadn't tried to buy any paint or even considered how to ventilate his room properly. Thank god he had ladybug to help him out with this.

"And talking about modifications to the house…" Ladybug grinned and handed him a small wooden dowel that had been painted black. "Tikki just _happened_ to let it slip that Plagg likes to act like a cat."

"He… he does?" Chat gaped at her for a moment before his eyes widened in glee. So many things were starting to make more sense now, the constant naps, the 2am hyperactivity, and now he knew why Plagg had wanted an exercise room of all things.

This was _purr_-fect teasing material.

Ladybug nodded and pointed to the photo of the house on the box. A little girl was putting her doll into the lift and using the handle to move it between the floors. Chat hadn't thought much about it when he had purchased it, other than assuming that Plagg just wanted to boast that his home had something that Tikki's didn't. The cat god was competitive like that.

But Ladybug was tapping at the photo of the lift with the same satisfied grin she wore when she figured out her Lucky Charm. Chat just knew this was going to be good.

"Since this won't work for a kwami, we decided to make it into a cat tower."

He was wrong. This wasn't good, this was freaking brilliant!

"When the lift is between floors, if you wedge the dowel under it right here," she pointed at the photo again and he made sure to memorise that location, "then it creates a little jumping platform for him. Tikki and I even tied twine around the lift posts so he can use them as scratching posts."

"This is going to be _paw_-some!"

"It gets better." Ladybug giggled. "I put a laser pointer in the bag for you."

Chat howled in laughter. The mental image of Plagg chasing a laser was just too funny! Their laughter floated up around them into the night and was only stopped by the shrill and indignant beeping of his ring.

"I guess Plagg doesn't think it's funny. Sorry _mon minou_," Ladybug grinned ruefully and started packing things away again. "Oh, I nearly forgot. I put my polaroid camera in the bag too. Tikki wants lots of photos of Plagg. I'd like to see him too, but just make sure my camera gets back to me in one piece."

"I swear on all of my nine lives that I will return it safe and intact. I just don't know when yet."

"That's fine, _Chaton_. I know you have to work around the people you live with. I can wait."

She handed him the re-packed box with a smile and he decided to throw caution to the wind. He took the box from her hands and set it down before lunging forward and scooping her up in his arms, twirling around in wild circles on the roof. She shrieked and grabbed him around the shoulders but soon enough she was laughing with him in their impromptu dance.

"My Lady, you have made Plagg and myself the two happiest Black Cats in Paris!" He gently set her down again. "Thank you."

"It was certainly my pleasure, _mon minou_. Now hurry home… and good luck!"

"Coming from you, that means a lot."

He gave her his trademark salute before scooping the dolls house box and the bag of goodies up and leaping from the roof. It was time to get home and finally build Plagg his home!

* * *

Plagg and Adrien decided to build the house that very night.

In truth it was because they were both impatient to see it. Impatience was about 99% of the driving force to build it that night. But they couldn't ignore the golden opportunity they had. With Gabriel away and Nathalie working, Adrien wasn't likely to be disturbed for anything until after breakfast at the earliest. Who knew when he would have that much unsupervised time again? Besides, Ladybug herself had wished them luck a few hours ago. Tonight was the perfect time to build a dolls house.

Their optimism soon faded as they set about the daunting task of actually building it.

Plagg had examined the decorations with a critical eye once Adrien had appeared in a flash of green light. He then ordered Adrien to open the box and display every piece of the house for his perusal. It took about twenty minutes for the kwami to decide everything was suitable and then he pounced on the felt tip pens Adrien had and started colouring.

"I'm a simple cat, kid. I don't want fancy flowers or blobs of colourful art on my walls."

Adrien was eventually allowed to help but only because Plagg was having trouble colouring in with any real speed. The pens were just too big for the tiny cat. But they eventually got the interior all coloured in. The three small room on the ground floor were coloured black. Their primary purpose was storage - camembert, clothes, cleaning equipment, among others - so Plagg wasn't too bothered what they looked like. The large main room was coloured in a deep forest green, complementing the furniture that Tikki and Ladybug had upholstered for him.

Adrien was surprised when Plagg wanted the bedroom to be a deep burgundy red but dutifully helped him to colour it in. He also made sure not to say anything when Plagg stuck one of the polaroids of Tikki up on the walls, drawing a crude frame around it to mimic a real portrait. Plagg was more perceptive that most people realised though. He shot a glare at Adrien then looked pointedly at the many Ladybug posters around the room. His eyes clearly said '_like you can comment'_.

The teen model wisely remained silent.

After the hassle of decorating it, both cats expected the actual building of it to be much easier. Three hours, two arguments, and one burst of dramatics later, and they realised it was going to be a much more difficult task than they had anticipated.

The house was only about half built and both of them were stressed out by it. Plagg was too small to help enough, and Adrien was finding out that he was pretty useless with DIY. Either that or he needed three sets of hands. The instructions were just a series of photos one after the other which had led to them using the wrong piece no less than five times.

They persevered through the annoyance and, just as the sky began to brighten with the oncoming dawn outside, the house was finally finished. Every wall was in place, every room intact, the roof was mostly stable, the phone was attached to the wall as a kwami TV, and it fit in the hidden cupboard perfectly. The finishing touch was setting the furniture in the correct rooms.

The large bed went into the top floor bedroom with the lamp. Plagg chose the Ladybug and Chat Noir bedding set, a black carpet, and a pair of black curtains to finish the room off.

His camembert-inspired bean bag chair went on the extended first floor balcony and faced the phone-TV. The chaise longue and the piano bench were set on either side of the bean bag and the room was finished off with laminate-effect flooring and green curtains.

The three rooms on the ground floor were set aside for 'exercise' - Adrien couldn't wait to see Plagg running around after a laser pointer like a real cat did - and storage. Ladybug and Tikki had made some small mops, buckets, and brushes for Plagg to keep his home tidy, and then went into the right hand room with all of his clothes. Adrien promised to find some sort of wooden chest to act like a storage trunk for Plagg's new outfits.

"G'night Plagg," Adrien yawned, closing the hidden door and sealing his kwami in his new room for the night. He flopped down onto his own bed and was asleep before his head had even hit the pillow.

* * *

Plagg would always fondly remember the first night he spent in his completed home, even of part of him had been terrified that it would fall down around his ears.

He was the kwami of misfortune and destruction and Adrien had never heard of an Allen key, let alone seen one before! If anyone was going to mess it up they would have! The picture instructions may as well have been hieroglyphs for all they understood them.

Tikki must have been sending all of her good luck his way that night. It was the only reason Plagg could see him surviving that first night. But he did survive it and t had been wonderful to go to sleep in a bed that fit him, in blankets made just for him, in a home that was his. It was perfect!

His first night in his new home was definitely one of his favourites. Certainly high up on his top ten list, maybe even his top five. All of the other top ten nights involved having Tikki there when Adrien managed to sneak Marinette into his room (not that that was hard with how often he was left alone).

But his favourite night in his mansion was actually his last.

In fact, it was the night that both of the black cats were giving up their mansions. They were large houses with all manner of material comforts, top of the line tech, and luxurious furnishings, but they were too big and empty for one single cat. The novelty of a large house wore off pretty quickly.

That was where their bugs came in. That was why the last night in the mansion was the best to his mind. Plagg was curled up around his bug, mirroring Adrien and Marinette in the bed outside his hidden room, both cats dreaming of the smaller and warmer home they would be sharing with their bugs from now on.

He couldn't imagine a more perfect ending.

Though… maybe he could? He would need to have a quick word with Wayzz the next time he saw him. His mansion was already going into storage after all. It shouldn't be too hard to be passed along to his next Black Cat, right? Happy as he might be to move in with Tikki he still loved his little mansion.

Yes. It was settled. Plagg felt much happier as he snuggled up to Tikki again. He would start talk in to Wayzz about getting the Guardian to ensure their homes came with them when it was time to move on.

Now that was _purr_-fect!


End file.
